Nicole Vanzuidam
Wednesday, May 13, 2026
It is not that often someone else says to us, “try harder,” but often a message we say to ourselves. Most would agree that we are our own worst critics. One of the most transformative ideas in Aundi Kolber’s book, Try Softer, is deceptively simple: mindfulness begins with noticing — noticing without judgment. Instead of reacting, fixing, or criticizing what we observe inside ourselves, it is important we learn to notice or become familiar with what is going on inside of ourselves. This posture of compassionate awareness is the opposite of the harsh self‑criticism many of us carry, and it is often the missing ingredient in our attempts to grow, heal, or care for others.